As we welcome a New Year

The week between Christmas and New Year's Day has always been one of my favorite weeks of the year.  It is full of tradition and it has always meant time spent with special people.  It has always filled my heart with joy.  Starting many years ago, when Nicol was young, it was a time when no one had school and that we could take time off from work to be together.  And that made it special.

For several years we would travel into the UP and stay at a small motel just outside of Rapid River.  We had a small room with two beds and a kitchenette.  It was the perfect little place to stay.  This was in my pre-dog days, so back then, we'd crate up the cat and head off to the great winter wonderland.  Once we were settled in, we would head to the small grocery store in Rapid River to stock up on food for our stay.  I so loved these times.  We'd watch football bowl games, we'd play games, and we'd just enjoy being together.  I loved sitting in the room and watching the snowfall...and I'd dream of the day that I could retire and move North and spend all of my Winters watching the snowfall in that beautiful place.  

At some point, we stopped making those trips North because of other commitments, but I never forgot how much I loved making them.  So I was extremely happy a few years ago to reinstate my trips North, although with a new destination-Copper Harbor- and new plans for adventures with the dogs.  So for the last three years, we've loaded ourselves up in the car and headed North.  And I have loved those trips so much.  We have spent time exploring alone and with friends; I have met new people and experienced things I could never have imagined.  I have enjoyed the peace and serenity of that beautiful place.  And I once again got to sit in my cozy room and watch the snowfall.

I was really looking forward to our trip North again this year, however, it was not to be.  With all that has been happening, I had to forgo my trip and just stay home this week.  I was disappointed, upset, angry that I wasn't going to be able to make the trip.  I am sad not to get to see my friends and not to spend time on the shore and in the woods.  On top of the disappointment I've been feeling, I've been a bit under the weather as well.  So this week was a bit of a bust for me with lots of negative feelings.  Thankfully today I started to feel a bit better and I pushed away the negativity.  

This year has been a great year.  I've had some amazing moments and some really tough ones.  I've spent the entire year fighting Imke's ear infection and I lost my grandma, but we also reached our goal of traveling to all 48 of the Capitol Buildings in the Continental US and I've seen some amazing sights.  I have been reminded how lucky I am to have such an amazing daughter and just how many amazing people are in my life.  

Tonight, as I sat down to relax for the evening, Imke snuggled up right next to me and Maddie at me feet, I began to reflect on how lucky I am.  I used to think that the changing of the year was such a big deal, but I don't believe that any more.  Any day is a great day to do amazing things with your life, to make a difference, to make a change, to embrace the moments, to learn and to love, and to live!  I realized that it doesn't matter where you go or where you are...all that matters is who is on that journey of life with you.   I am blessed and fortunate.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

When I was a kid, on Christmas Eve we would drive into town, pick up a pizza at Packy's, and drive around looking at the Christmas light displays.  We'd then come home and mom and dad would pull out the Christmas albums and we'd listen to Gene Autry, the Chipmunks, Frank and Bing, and the Ray Conniff singers.  The tree was lit and you could feel the excitement from the anticipation of what was to come.  That is one of my favorite Christmas memories.

Last night, with nothing else to do and nowhere to go, I decided to load the girls into the Jeep, grab a $5 small pizza special at Hungry Howie's and a QD fountain Mt. Dew, and head out for a drive around town to see what we could find.  With the Christmas music playing on the radio and the girls happily waiting for our next adventure, we were off!  Things started a little slow, but then we hit the jackpot.  Christmas lights galore.  Beautiful displays of thousands of sparkling lights in reds and greens, blues and clear, even multi-colored.  Manger scenes and snowmen and blow-up displays of Eeyore pulling Winnie the Pooh and Tigger and in a sleigh.  Giant Santas and reindeer, Nutcrackers and Candy canes, giant trees and tiny bushes, homes large and small, all decorated for the Holidays. 

There isn't anything I love more about the Holiday season than the beautiful, sparkling lights.  We spent a couple of hours out, driving through neighborhoods, looking at the lights,   And then the perfect ending as we headed toward home, Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" on the radio.

It took longer this year for the Christmas season to really start feeling like the Christmas season.  But over the last week, it really has started to feel like Christmas for me.  Finishing my shopping and gift wrapping, sending out my Christmas cards and shipping off baking to friends near and far, and having time to relax at home with the girls and the tree glowing in the background.  I've got everything done-all of the groceries are purchased for the Christmas Eve festivities with Nicol, all of the presents are wrapped, the stockings are stuffed.  All that remains is the final prep for tomorrow. 

All week I've been finishing things a little at a time so that when I got home at 4pm on Friday, I would have no errands to run, no to-do list to complete, no rushing around, no need to leave home.  For today, it's just me and the girls together enjoying a peaceful, relaxing day at home.  I have looked forward to this day all week long.  I will be doing a little cleaning and starting to do some prep work for Christmas Eve, but there is no rush and no pressure.  I just get to spend some time doing the things I love for those I love most.  And tomorrow I get to see my kid-my two-legged girl.  Spending time with all of my girls...that's what Christmas looks like to me. 

Saying goodbye

We buried my Grandma today.   There comes a time in most of our lives when all of us will experience this kind of loss.  Today was mine.  She wasn't the first grandma I lost...that happened almost 14 years ago when I lost my Grandma Adelberg.  And before that I had the loss of three Great Grandmothers all who were alive in my life time-Grandma Hayt, Grandma Nixon, and Great Grandma Struck.  I remember them all and feel very lucky to have known them all.  But today, well, today was hardest because I had her longest...and she was the last.

Leo and Eladine Struck

It is hard to explain what grandmothers mean in our lives, but it is a special relationship, different than all others.  Maybe it's because they had been mothers first and I'm sure there is something very special about experiencing your own child bringing another life into the world.  Maybe that explains why grandmas seem to love us best; despite our many flaws and all of our wrong-doings, grandmas are there loving us no matter what.  Maybe it's because they have the benefit of time and experience and wisdom.  Maybe some day, when I am a grandmother myself, I will understand what it is that makes that relationship so extra special.  Maybe there is no real reason.

During her time here with us, my grandma gave us so many gifts.  I wish I had realized at a younger age what a treasure my time with her was. She shared stories of her childhood and family.  She shared her love of baking and hands-down she made the best molasses cookies ever made.  She shared fun and laughter and a sassy attitude.  She was quite a character.  She loved us all...and most importantly, we loved her.  It was so evident today as we gathered as a family to say goodbye to her. Through our silliness and laughter and tears, her legacy will live on.  She will live on in each and everyone one of us every day.

Leo and Eladine Struck
March 29, 1947

So after 47 years of life, a life which began with 3 sets of Great grandparents, 1 set of Grandparents, and 1 widowed Grandma, I now have one Grandparent remaining...my Grandpa Struck.  That seems unreal...unfathomable.  To see him sitting there today at the funeral without Grandma by his side was so sad.  Through 70 years of marriage, 5 Children, 9 Grandchildren, and 17 Great Grandchildren - she has been there by his side, but now she is gone.  She lived 89 years.  She suffered no prolonged illness.  She just slipped away while at home.  My grandma had a good life and I am so glad to have had her as part of mine for so long.  I was pretty lucky.