My life as a foster mom

When this year started, I challenged myself to write in this blog at least once per week.  I thought I could sit down every Sunday and reflect on the week and come up with a topic for the day.  I do enjoy writing, but every time I sit down to write here, I feel like I should have something profound to say...something life-changing.  However, today I realized all of that pressure just makes it difficult for me to actually sit down and write.  So I'm going to try to take away the pressure and just "put words to paper" and write whatever comes to mind.

This weekend we spent a quiet weekend at home.  I don't do that very often and it felt great not to have any plans.  Sometimes you need some time away from the bustle of everyday life.  It gives you an opportunity to be alone with your thoughts.   As I sat on the couch snuggled up with Julia, I learned that there may be a family interested in adding her to their family.  I looked down at that little face and was overcome with emotions.  Those feelings got me reflecting on my journey as a foster mom.

Julia, Imke and Maddie

There is just something about life when it is lived with dogs.  I love dogs. I have always loved dogs. I love being with dogs and I love helping dogs.  I am inspired to be a better person because of my dogs. They greet the morning enthusiastically and savor every moment that they are awake. They always seem to see the good in the world and they love with all of their being, no matter what they've been through in their lives.  They are resilient.

Jake, Imke and Vivian

Five years ago, with some strong encouragement from my daughter, I became a foster parent for our local animal shelter.  The shelter had a great "Home for the Holidays" foster program which gave me an opportunity to try it out without making a big commitment.  I was a fairly new volunteer there and didn't really know what to expect from the foster experience. So a few days before Christmas, Nicol and I headed to the shelter to find the dog we'd bring home to temporarily join our family.  After considering a few, we made the choice to bring home Vivian.  She was a black lab mix with a great personality and she fit in with my pack perfectly.  And with that beautiful, sweet girl, my love of being a foster mom began.

Vivian

Vivian was a great dog.  She wasn't damaged; she wasn't imperfect-she had just found herself in an unfortunate situation.  Giving her a chance to escape the hectic, scary environment of the shelter and to live in a home allowed her personality to shine.  She was with us for about 6 weeks before she was adopted.  I was so excited when she first met her person.  She was a young woman ready to adopt her first dog on her own and she was so excited to have found Vivian. I just knew it was going to be a great fit. After a goodbye hug and several tears, she was off to live her life.  I never heard from her mom after that, but I have thought of her occasionally over the last five years.  I believe that she is living a good life and I am glad that I was able to be a small part of her journey.

Lucy

Since then, I have fostered 30 other dogs. Dogs like Lucy who was given up by her owner at 18 months old because they couldn't handle her and Harley, who at 10 years old was dumped at the shelter by the family who had raised him since he was a puppy because mom was suddenly allergic. There was Baron, who at 8 years old was dumped due to divorce, and Garmin, who at 8 years old was too much for his family to handle because they had just had a baby.  Dogs like Rocky who was left behind when his family moved and Soleil who had lived her entire 4 years of life outside-barely fed, barely sheltered, fighting to live day to day and never loved.  And Reyna, sweet Reyna, who was returned to the shelter because her family couldn't understand that they couldn't let their children do whatever they wanted to her...that she wasn't just going to tolerate it and then was adopted and returned two more times before finding the perfect home.  All of these dogs were given up on by the people who were supposed to care for them, forever.

Nicol and Winnie

Then there were the dogs who came in as strays like Winnie, the adorable little 5 month old, blind puppy who was terrified of every sound and Marissa who was a bundle of crazy pit bull puppy energy and losing her mind being stuck at the shelter-she literally ran around my backyard for 3 hours the night I brought her home.  There were Sonny and Cher who had been at the shelter for two months with no interest and Beignet who was there even longer.  And sweet old Nelly who had to be dragged back into her kennel, Junior who was missing a foot and Moses who was diagnosed with heartworm. And Fritz, Moe, Zeus, Wade and Clint who all had the clock working against them.

Maddie, Harley, and Imke

Not all of them had issues when they came to me.  Some of them just needed a little time to find the right home and someone to share with the world how awesome they were.  As a foster mom, that is one of my main jobs-to be a champion for the pups that find themselves in my care and to let the world know all that is wonderful about them.  Some walked into my home like they had been there all along and fit right in.  Some had some minor issues to overcome and some, like Soleil, had so much to learn about trust and love and just how to be a dog.  But I watched all of these dogs blossom and become better versions of themselves while they were with me and then, when they were ready, I let go... I sent them off into the world with new families and a chance for an amazing life.  While some of the families have kept in touch with me, some have not.  And even if I haven't heard from their new families, I know that they all have gotten that chance to be the awesome family members they were meant to be.  My heart is happy knowing that they are all loved.

Soleil

Now there is Julia, number 31.  This sweet girl who has clearly been bred and then was mostly likely just let go when they found her no longer useful.  She was so scared when I brought her home, nervous about anything new and terrified to walk down the hallway or to go anywhere near my basement stairs.  But she had good in her heart and she wanted nothing more than to be loved.  To watch her grow and gain confidence has been amazing.  She is a completely different dog today than she was the day that I brought her home.  Soon enough, she will get her chance at her forever family. And like every other time, I will cry...probably a lot.

Imke and Beignet

Reyna

I do wonder what they think when I send them off with their new families.  Do they know how much I have loved them and that I am not giving them up, but instead I am giving them a chance.  I hope that they know what they have given me.  Because without each of them, my life would not be what it is today.  I have grown through each experience and learned more about life and love from them than I have from any other experience I've ever had. People often tell me that they couldn't foster or ask me how I do it...and for me, I just don't know how I couldn't do it.  I look into those eyes full of hope and love and I have to do whatever I can to help them.   It is a sacrifice and sometimes it really hurts to say goodbye, but I know that there will always be another out there that just needs a chance.  I'm happy to be there to give them that chance.

Sonny and Cher

As I lie here next to one very important pup, I can't help but think that there is so much that we could learn from our dogs...so much that I have learned from my dogs and from the dogs that I have been fortunate enough to meet through my volunteer experiences-not just through fostering.  They are resilient creatures; always forgiving, always ready to live life to it's fullest.  I am fortunate to be a dog mom, dog aunt, dog foster mom, and dog rescuer. With each interaction, I learn more about life. I am reminded what is important, what we should let go of and that sometimes it's okay just to be silly.  I have become the person I am today because of my life with dogs.  I have learned that it is okay to be whomever you are and to live the life you want for yourself...regardless of what others think...and to always remember to love with all you've got-because life is too short to live any other way.

Maddie and Baron share some ice cream

Clint

Fritz with his forever family

Moses

Wade

Rocky

Winnie

Garmin's freedom flight

How did we get here?

Against my better judgment, I made a small comment on a politically related facebook post yesterday. I haven't made comments previously; I don't know why I didn't listen to that little voice telling me not to do it this time, but what's done is done.   In response to my rather simple comment that in essence stated that neither the views of Donald Trump nor Hillary Clinton fit what I wanted for America-I was called a part of the ignorant masses...apparently unwittingly spewing the conservative conspiracy theories.  The response to my comment came from a complete stranger-someone I have never met, probably will never meet...someone who knows not one thing about me as a human being, and yet, because I don't share the same opinion, knows that I must be ignorant and brain-washed by the corrupt conservatives of the world out to get us all.  And this, my friends, is what is wrong with America today.

That little response on social media got me thinking about how every one of us is special and unique. We all have our own stories and our own experiences that have shaped who we are today.  My story started in a small town with two parents who were hard working and taught me the same values.  We weren't rich, but we had all we needed in life.  They did what all parents are ultimately supposed to do.  They raised two children who became kind, hard-working, responsible adults.

I graduated from high school in that small town with plans to go out and conquer the world.  I was going to college and I was going to do great things with my life...but at 18 and just a few weeks before starting college,  I found out I was pregnant.  That was certainly not part of the plan for my life, but as scared as I was, I didn't stop to think about what I was supposed to do and without telling my parents, I went off to college as a pregnant teen from a small town with no real experience in the world- because I was supposed to go to college...and nothing was going to stop me.

That first few months at school I was almost a normal college kid, except I was struggling with the decision of how to handle my pregnancy-there were options and I had to figure out the best one for me.  Through morning sickness and heartburn and feeling the baby kick for the first time, I also had work and classes and studying.  Oh the fun life of a college freshman.  And then, on the first day of the Spring term my freshman year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  A week later I was back in class...my dad took a week off from work to drive me to my classes and to take care of Nicol while I was in class.  My parents, her dad and his parents were all great during that term, helping care for her while I finished school for the year.

When I came back for my sophomore year, we moved into family housing.  Her dad and I were now both at MSU and raising a daughter together.  For the next 3 years, I worked 29 hours a week, went to school full-time, studied and took care of a baby.  I didn't ask for handouts, I never used medicaid or food stamps...I worked hard and sacrificed.  And in four years, plus one additional Summer term to complete my internship, I graduated with my BA with a 2.95 GPA...not too shabby if you ask me and for many years my biggest accomplishment.

We made many other sacrifices over the years as we raised our daughter to be a kind-hearted, strong-willed, independent-minded, free-thinker not afraid to be who she wanted to be.  I think we raised her well. She is a college graduate herself, having graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Kentucky.  She is now off shaping young minds as she teaches reading comprehension to elementary school children.

Now that we've successfully done our jobs as her parents and sent her off into the world to contribute in a positive way to society, I have time to do so many other things.  I volunteer my time to animal rescue. I volunteer at food banks and as a meals-on-wheels driver.  I occasionally buy a meal for the homeless guy who stands on the corner near my office.  I give both my time and money to charities that I feel are important.  I believe that I am pretty fortunate...I am not rich by any means, but I have enough to take care of my basic needs and more.  So I am happy to help others who are not as fortunate.  I believe that the best society is the one where we help each other.

This is my story so far...it is who I am.  I just think that maybe if we seek to understand where others have been and how they have gotten to this point in their lives, it could help us heal as a nation.

I know so many good people who voted for Donald Trump and so many good people that voted for Hillary Clinton...and several good people who voted for neither.  I know that ultimately they all want nothing more than what is best for our country.  There is just so much negativity in this world today. No one wants to listen to the opinions of anyone else, they just want to jump immediately to name calling and hatefulness the minute they believe that someone has a differing opinion.  There are so many people who are claiming to be tolerant of differences who are in fact the most intolerant...they are so angered that someone disagrees with them that they don't take the time to listen and understand.  I hope that we can change this and begin to heal as a nation.

Our 2016 Journey

We recently finished the Hike100NCT challenge which involved hiking 100 miles on the North Country Trail in 2016 in celebration of the 100th Anniversary of the National Parks.  We (and you know by we, I mean I) signed up for the challenge at the end of 2015 and anxiously awaited January 1, 2016 and the opportunity to start hiking.  We were in the Upper Peninsula, the only place I was familiar with the trail at the time, and I was determined to start as close to January 1 as possible so we could have the whole year to complete the challenge.  So as we drove through Munising on January 2 on our way home from a few days in Copper Harbor, we stopped to get in our first mile.  

 

View of Munising Bay from the North Country Trail

And so it started.  I had big plans for this challenge.  I was going to make more trips North and to the UP this year.  I was going to join group hikes.  I was going to find new and exciting places to hike.  I was going to see more of this State.  Most importantly, I was going to spend some quality time in the great outdoors with the girls discovering that I didn’t ALWAYS have to be North of the Mackinac Bridge to enjoy the beautiful State in which we live.  In many ways I achieved most of my goals and even though I didn’t accomplish them all, I accomplished so much more. 

First order of business was to familiarize myself with where I could find areas closer to me to hike the trail.  The North Country Trail is massive.  It covers 4600 miles from New York State to North Dakota with many of those miles right here in Michigan so I had to be able to find some great places to hike!  Little did I know when we started that Trail's Headquarters is in Lowell- just 45 miles from home and at one point the trail runs within 30 miles of my house- giving me the opportunity to get out on some weekend adventures.  Who knew that the majority of my miles would be completed within an hour and a half of home! 

A familiar site

This challenge forced me to get out on cold winter days and hot summer days, in the rain, snow, and humidity...days when I was at home, not in the Upper Peninsula, and at times when I would not normally have gone.  But we went out in search of blue blazes on those day, in areas that I would never have thought to explore previously.  We had a goal to reach.

And so throughout the seasons and in a variety of areas around our State, this became a very familiar view.  For many miles I walked with three dogs, but there were also times that it was just me, Imke and Maddie and one weekend that I spent on the trail with just Imke.  I loved my time out on the trail with them and they loved their time on the trail too.  So many sites to see and things to sniff! We enjoyed the fresh air and the changing of the seasons and discovering new places.  But most of all, I enjoyed spending time with them and watching their happy little tails wag with joy! Out in the world-exploring small towns, farmland, small cities, beaches, and wilderness with these amazing companions of mine, I learned a lot about myself. I learned about determination and sticking to a goal and believing in myself and knowing that during this silly little challenge I was growing in ways that can't be put into words.  

But as is my nature, I had doubts about if I could really finish.  As we worked on our challenge, we also followed the progress of others who were working toward this goal.  I read stories of day hikes, weekend hikes and week-long hikes where people would finish 20, 30, 40 miles and more at a time.  I read about people who completed their 100 miles in a couple of months.  I compared my progress to theirs and thought "how can I compare to these people?  I am finishing 2, or 3, or 4 miles at a time...I'm never going to do this."  But I stuck with it, reminding myself that 2 miles at a time we could finish and it's not about how fast you get there; it's about sticking with it and working toward the goal and continuing to make progress despite setbacks (like work schedules and knee problems) and enjoying every step of the journey!  So we continued on, making regular progress, and slowly working our way, mile by mile, to 100.  It's amazing what happens when you stop worrying about others and focus on yourself!

We finished our 100 miles with a couple of weeks left in 2016 on a snowy day in Lowell.  It was a great day to be out for a hike.  It was quite a feeling when Imke and I took those last steps, completing our 100 mile journey together.

A couple of weeks ago we received our Certificate of Completion and patch for finishing the #Hike100NCT challenge.  A great reminder that despite my doubts-we had finished!  But even better, in my opinion, was an update given at the end of the year by the NCT Association.  Over 5000 people signed up for this challenge in 2016, but just under 1800 people had actually completed it.  That's less then half.  And I was one of them!  That really put things into perspective for me.  I enjoyed this challenge tremendously, learned some valuable life lessons, and spent some quality time with the dogs. However, most importantly, I proved to myself that I can accomplish great things if I really set my mind to it!

I'm excited that the North Country Trail Association has decided to do offer this challenge again this year.  Bring on the 2017 Challenge!  We're ready!!