A Brown Spotty Dog Blog: My life as a foster mom

When this year started, I challenged myself to write in this blog at least once per week. I thought I could sit down every Sunday and reflect on the week and come up with a topic for the day. I do enjoy writing, but every time I sit down to write here, I feel like I should have something profound to say...something life-changing. However, today I realized all of that pressure just makes it difficult for me to actually sit down and write. So I'm going to try to take away the pressure and just "put words to paper" and write whatever comes to mind.

This weekend we spent a quiet weekend at home. I don't do that very often and it felt great not to have any plans. Sometimes you need some time away from the bustle of everyday life. It gives you an opportunity to be alone with your thoughts. As I sat on the couch snuggled up with Julia, I learned that there may be a family interested in adding her to their family. I looked down at that little face and was overcome with emotions. Those feelings got me reflecting on my journey as a foster mom.

Julia, Imke and Maddie

There is just something about life when it is lived with dogs. I love dogs. I have always loved dogs. I love being with dogs and I love helping dogs. I am inspired to be a better person because of my dogs. They greet the morning enthusiastically and savor every moment that they are awake. They always seem to see the good in the world and they love with all of their being, no matter what they've been through in their lives. They are resilient.

Jake, Imke and Vivian

Five years ago, with some strong encouragement from my daughter, I became a foster parent for our local animal shelter. The shelter had a great "Home for the Holidays" foster program which gave me an opportunity to try it out without making a big commitment. I was a fairly new volunteer there and didn't really know what to expect from the foster experience. So a few days before Christmas, Nicol and I headed to the shelter to find the dog we'd bring home to temporarily join our family. After considering a few, we made the choice to bring home Vivian. She was a black lab mix with a great personality and she fit in with my pack perfectly. And with that beautiful, sweet girl, my love of being a foster mom began.

Vivian

Vivian was a great dog. She wasn't damaged; she wasn't imperfect-she had just found herself in an unfortunate situation. Giving her a chance to escape the hectic, scary environment of the shelter and to live in a home allowed her personality to shine. She was with us for about 6 weeks before she was adopted. I was so excited when she first met her person. She was a young woman ready to adopt her first dog on her own and she was so excited to have found Vivian. I just knew it was going to be a great fit. After a goodbye hug and several tears, she was off to live her life. I never heard from her mom after that, but I have thought of her occasionally over the last five years. I believe that she is living a good life and I am glad that I was able to be a small part of her journey.

Lucy

Since then, I have fostered 30 other dogs. Dogs like Lucy who was given up by her owner at 18 months old because they couldn't handle her and Harley, who at 10 years old was dumped at the shelter by the family who had raised him since he was a puppy because mom was suddenly allergic. There was Baron, who at 8 years old was dumped due to divorce, and Garmin, who at 8 years old was too much for his family to handle because they had just had a baby. Dogs like Rocky who was left behind when his family moved and Soleil who had lived her entire 4 years of life outside-barely fed, barely sheltered, fighting to live day to day and never loved. And Reyna, sweet Reyna, who was returned to the shelter because her family couldn't understand that they couldn't let their children do whatever they wanted to her...that she wasn't just going to tolerate it and then was adopted and returned two more times before finding the perfect home. All of these dogs were given up on by the people who were supposed to care for them, forever.

Nicol and Winnie

Then there were the dogs who came in as strays like Winnie, the adorable little 5 month old, blind puppy who was terrified of every sound and Marissa who was a bundle of crazy pit bull puppy energy and losing her mind being stuck at the shelter-she literally ran around my backyard for 3 hours the night I brought her home. There were Sonny and Cher who had been at the shelter for two months with no interest and Beignet who was there even longer. And sweet old Nelly who had to be dragged back into her kennel, Junior who was missing a foot and Moses who was diagnosed with heartworm. And Fritz, Moe, Zeus, Wade and Clint who all had the clock working against them.

Maddie, Harley, and Imke

Not all of them had issues when they came to me. Some of them just needed a little time to find the right home and someone to share with the world how awesome they were. As a foster mom, that is one of my main jobs-to be a champion for the pups that find themselves in my care and to let the world know all that is wonderful about them. Some walked into my home like they had been there all along and fit right in. Some had some minor issues to overcome and some, like Soleil, had so much to learn about trust and love and just how to be a dog. But I watched all of these dogs blossom and become better versions of themselves while they were with me and then, when they were ready, I let go... I sent them off into the world with new families and a chance for an amazing life. While some of the families have kept in touch with me, some have not. And even if I haven't heard from their new families, I know that they all have gotten that chance to be the awesome family members they were meant to be. My heart is happy knowing that they are all loved.

Soleil

Now there is Julia, number 31. This sweet girl who has clearly been bred and then was mostly likely just let go when they found her no longer useful. She was so scared when I brought her home, nervous about anything new and terrified to walk down the hallway or to go anywhere near my basement stairs. But she had good in her heart and she wanted nothing more than to be loved. To watch her grow and gain confidence has been amazing. She is a completely different dog today than she was the day that I brought her home. Soon enough, she will get her chance at her forever family. And like every other time, I will cry...probably a lot.

Imke and Beignet

Reyna

I do wonder what they think when I send them off with their new families. Do they know how much I have loved them and that I am not giving them up, but instead I am giving them a chance. I hope that they know what they have given me. Because without each of them, my life would not be what it is today. I have grown through each experience and learned more about life and love from them than I have from any other experience I've ever had. People often tell me that they couldn't foster or ask me how I do it...and for me, I just don't know how I couldn't do it. I look into those eyes full of hope and love and I have to do whatever I can to help them. It is a sacrifice and sometimes it really hurts to say goodbye, but I know that there will always be another out there that just needs a chance. I'm happy to be there to give them that chance.

Sonny and Cher

As I lie here next to one very important pup, I can't help but think that there is so much that we could learn from our dogs...so much that I have learned from my dogs and from the dogs that I have been fortunate enough to meet through my volunteer experiences-not just through fostering. They are resilient creatures; always forgiving, always ready to live life to it's fullest. I am fortunate to be a dog mom, dog aunt, dog foster mom, and dog rescuer. With each interaction, I learn more about life. I am reminded what is important, what we should let go of and that sometimes it's okay just to be silly. I have become the person I am today because of my life with dogs. I have learned that it is okay to be whomever you are and to live the life you want for yourself...regardless of what others think...and to always remember to love with all you've got-because life is too short to live any other way.