September 28

On this day 5 years ago, I woke up knowing that your battle was over.  We spent the morning snuggling, and we spent the rest of the early afternoon on a blanket out in the sun like we had so many other times.  And then the time came and we gathered together everyone who loved you and I carried you to the car and you took one final car ride.  You were a front seat dog, sitting on your girls lap surrounded by love. We reached the vet's office and laid you in the sun...all of us around you.  I kissed that nose one last time, told you I loved you one last time, and held your paw as you took your final breath.  It was a peaceful experience, full of love and sadness.  But you were free of your pain, and after all that you had done for me, I was glad that I could be there with you until the very end.  

The pain has lessened over the years, but I still think of you often and you are always in my heart.  On this day, I still shed a few tears, but those tears remind me what a gift your life was.  My beautiful boy. 

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Keeping the memory alive

As the seedum in my front yard begin to bloom and the bees return to feast upon them, as the leaves on the locust tree turn yellow and fall to the ground, and as the summer days grow shorter and the nights grow longer and cooler, I can't help but reflect on the past.  This final Sunday of the Summer season always makes me a bit melancholy because I know that with the beginning of Fall just a few short days away the time is growing near when I must put away the shorts and sandals and t-shirts and that those happy warm days I spend basking in the summer sun are almost behind us once more. But more than anything this time of year makes me think about the past...about loved ones lost and struggles that at one point in time seemed so hard to imagine living through,but now leave me with bittersweet memories.

Jake enjoying a treat

At this point in time five years ago, I was watching someone I loved slowly slip away from me and I was fighting as hard as I could to keep him here.  It was the first time in my life that I remember feeling completely helpless.  And five years ago this weekend, Jake gave me one last great weekend before the painful realization just a few days later that he was preparing to leave us forever.  So this weekend really gives me a whole bag of mixed emotions.

Playing in the hose

The emotions were triggered early this morning as I walked into the yard to see the bees swarming the seedum plants and  then triggered a second time as I poured my bowl of frosted mini wheat for breakfast.  For 9 years, as fall approached, I watched my great bee hunter stand for hours as those blooms brought in swarms of bees to stalk and hunt.  He got so much joy standing over those plants and watching those bees.  And in the end, feeble and frail, he was not deterred from his bee hunting.   It was as if nature was giving him one last great hunt before he left.

As he grew more and more sick and his desire to eat waned, there were always two things he would eat without hesitation....cheese and frosted mini wheats.  So it became our routine in those last weeks to sit together while I ate breakfast and I would happily share my breakfast with him.  I was happy to have him eat anything and enjoyed the extra time with my special boy.

All of my babies at the beach one last time

And although I don't like to dwell on the past, I do believe it is important to reflect and remember from time to time to keep alive in our hearts those who have gone before us.  So today I will remember Jake and the 9 great years he gave us by getting out and enjoying the last of these days of Summer.  For Autumn and Winter will come...for all of us.

Perspective

It happened last weekend as we spent the long Labor Day holiday weekend in the UP:  another lesson in perspective.  It always seems to happen when I travel there.  The lessons come from so many places.  Not only is it Mother Nature and all of her natural beauty that is my teacher, it is also the people.  Maybe it's the people more than the place that have helped to remind me of the lessons I have already learned...to remind me that there is a truth deep inside of me and that I just need to open my heart (and mind) and listen.  This trip especially, it was definitely a connection not only to the places, but to the people that make the places even more special.  And as an added bonus, I was given an additional gift in perspective from a complete stranger and an outsider...a visitor to this beautiful place that I have grown to love more and more and that has taught me so very much.

Sometimes life gets in the way of living.  Sometimes work and responsibility get in the way of dreams and passions.  This seems to have happened to me this year.   With all that has been going on here at home, I have sacrificed the frequency of my visits to Copper Harbor and all of the other places I love in the UP.  While I am still happy and I am enjoying life, I am not living to my full potential and I am not (to quote my awesome friend Bryce) 100% Trisha.    100% Trisha can only fully exist in the place where her heart and soul truly belong.  And while I may not notice it as much when I am here in Lansing, it is so clear when I finally get back to the Keweenaw.

I arrived on a rainy Saturday afternoon.  But even in the rain, I am happy to be there.  The original plan for Saturday was to attend the Great Sand Bay neighborhood pasty party, hosted by Marty and Koni, Bryce's neighbors, who have made me feel welcome at this Labor Day tradition of theirs for the last three years.  Like any good Yooper and Keweenawian, they symbolize all that is good about the people of this area-kind, friendly, help-out-your neighbor kind of people.  But

Mother Nature had different plans for us and, due to weather, the party was delayed by 24 hours.

This gave me the great opportunity to reconnect with some of the people who have become important in helping guide me along my path to enlightenment.   First there is Bryce.  Bryce is a guide and mentor in so many ways in my life.  No trip to the Keweenaw seems complete without a visit to Bryce and his trusty Zi.  But this year, I had gone an entire 7 months without seeing them.  They are my favorite Yoopers and the proof that if I work hard and sacrifice, I can get what I want out of life. Bryce has taught me many things that cannot be learned in books...things that require you to really stop and let go of everything you thought you knew.  He has taught me that it's okay to let go of societal convention and it's okay to just be yourself.  And that if you do those things, you can get everything you want out of life and can know true happiness.  He has also given me lessons in the importance of not dwelling in the past...and not worrying about the things you can't control.  The best lesson I've learned from him, however, is to pause, look up, take a deep breath, and just live right there in that moment.  To appreciate every moment because that is all we have...we just have right now-that's probably the best lesson I've learned from him.  Ask Bryce what time it is and he'll tell you "it's right now."

So the plan for the rainy afternoon was to meet up with Bryce and then drive out to Central Mine to see two other amazing Yoopers, Scott and Tom.  Scott and Tom are two of my amazing dog-loving, Keweenaw loving, photography loving friends who also made sacrifices and took a leap of faith and moved North to the Keweenaw.  Although I frequently run into Tom on my travels because he works right in Copper Harbor, Scott is a bit more elusive.  But this time, I knew exactly where to find him and I wasn't going to miss out on a chance to say hello.

On this particular day, Scott and Tom were at Central Mine for a special Keweenaw County Historical Society event and were being featured in one of the homes with all of their amazing photographs for sale.  The passion they have for this area they call home can be seen in their amazing pictures.   Scott also has a way with words and his love of the Keweenaw comes through in the things he writes as well, but it is when you speak with him that you can really feel the love he has for the area.  

Bryce and I arrived at Central Mine and spent some time talking with both of the guys, but it was in my conversation with Scott that I was truly moved.  As he spoke about the history of the house in which we were standing and the surrounding area, and especially as he talked about the people that had lived there, he just came alive.  I could feel the passion and love that he feels for this place.  It is in his heart, it is in his soul, it lives in every fiber of his being.  And that is an amazing lesson too. When you really, truly love something...someplace, others can feel the love and joy that place brings you.  Scott travels over 100 miles round trip each day to go to work so that he can live there in Copper Harbor.  To love a place that much, to make yourself and your happiness a priority, to inspire others to take that leap... That is truly inspiring to me.  And every time he shares his love of that place through his pictures and words, I feel like he's speaking directly to me...to remind me to live my truth, to live my passion, to live...and sometimes he actually is. (Thanks Scott-I am listening!)

Tom - what can  I say about him.  He lives an amazing adventure of a life and I would be lying if I didn't say that I am a little jealous of him.  He is lucky enough not only to live in Copper Harbor, but to work there too...and not in the tourist industry.  I know that he knows just how lucky he is too...as he sits at his desk with Lake Superior just outside the window and his two trusty companions, Daisy and Dozer, by his side.  Tom can spend his lunches searching for agates on the beaches of Lake Superior or somehow is lucky enough to take day trips to old abandoned lighthouses or a million other amazing places...and through the pictures he shares, I am given yet another perspective on what life can be when you follow your dreams.  I run into Tom all of the time when I'm on my travels in Copper Harbor and I always love my conversations with him.  He may live there, but he definitely doesn't take it for granted.  I can tell every time that I talk to him how much he loves his life in the Harbor and how much he appreciates all of the beauty that surrounds him.

We spent the next couple of days visiting the places and people who have made Copper Harbor so special to us and even found some new places to adventure.  On our final day in the Keweenaw, we headed up to Brockway Mountain.  At one end of the mountain is a beautiful view of  Lake Superior and the hills, valleys, and lakes that make up this beautiful area.  On the other end is the view overlooking the town itself.  Somehow, on this Labor Day, I ended up at this look-out all alone.  As I surveyed the area, I realized that I was looking out at Copper Harbor in a whole new way.  In the past, I saw a beautiful landscape with a tiny town sitting in the center of it all.  Over time, I began to see the individual buildings and landmarks...I knew the place names and some of the significant landmarks and began to try to better understand the layout of this land.  But this time, as I turned to walk away...I realized that I was now seeing Copper Harbor not as a tourist destination, not as a beautiful landscape, not as my vacation spot. No, this time, I was seeing the people of Copper Harbor. Jill at Jamsen's, Karen's Brockway Inn, Amanda and Aaron's house...It was a whole new perspective for me.  And it felt significant.  This isn't just a place that I visit...this is a place that I know and love, it is a place where I am welcomed like a local, where the people know my name...or at least that I'm the GSP lady.  It is becoming more and more a part of me and I am beginning to claim my place there as well.  As I walked away with this new perspective, I just smiled because I guess my mind is finally figuring out what my heart has known all along.  And I felt an extra sense of appreciation for all of the lessons taught and inspiration offered from so many of the residents of this tiny little town.

Good bye, August

As Imke made her way outside for her last set of rounds for the night, I decided to follow her and enjoy a little time on the patio.  I love the scents, sounds, and sights of summer nights and we have far too few of those left this year.  I love to go out and sit in my yard and look up at the night sky; the moon, the stars, and the darkness give me a great sense of peace.  Add to it the sounds of the tree frogs, katydids, and crickets and it's like a night at the symphony.  I just love it.

But as I sat out there tonight, I noticed that there were things missing...the warmth of a summer evening and the flickering of the lightning bugs are gone. I know there may still be a few warm evenings, but we are entering the portion of Summer that makes me sad.  The flowers begin to fade and the trees begin to turn to shades of orange, red, and yellow.   My world of green will soon leave and bring with it cold nights and sweatshirt.  Fall is definitely in the air.

I can't believe it's the final night of August.  With September comes the end of Summer...the end of shorts and t-shirts and flip flops, the end of swimming and of driving around with the windows down and the top off of the Jeep.  I'm really not a fan of Septemeber, never have been.  I always just wish we could have a few more weeks of August.

But thankfully we have one more weekend...the unofficial end of Summer to look forward to-a few more days to soak in the sun and stick our toes in the sand and maybe even take a dip in Superior.  I will get a few more nights of gazing up at the stars and listening to the nighttime symphony that surrounds us.  Although I'll always want more because, for me, Summer is never long enough.