Keeping the memory alive

As the seedum in my front yard begin to bloom and the bees return to feast upon them, as the leaves on the locust tree turn yellow and fall to the ground, and as the summer days grow shorter and the nights grow longer and cooler, I can't help but reflect on the past.  This final Sunday of the Summer season always makes me a bit melancholy because I know that with the beginning of Fall just a few short days away the time is growing near when I must put away the shorts and sandals and t-shirts and that those happy warm days I spend basking in the summer sun are almost behind us once more. But more than anything this time of year makes me think about the past...about loved ones lost and struggles that at one point in time seemed so hard to imagine living through,but now leave me with bittersweet memories.

Jake enjoying a treat

At this point in time five years ago, I was watching someone I loved slowly slip away from me and I was fighting as hard as I could to keep him here.  It was the first time in my life that I remember feeling completely helpless.  And five years ago this weekend, Jake gave me one last great weekend before the painful realization just a few days later that he was preparing to leave us forever.  So this weekend really gives me a whole bag of mixed emotions.

Playing in the hose

The emotions were triggered early this morning as I walked into the yard to see the bees swarming the seedum plants and  then triggered a second time as I poured my bowl of frosted mini wheat for breakfast.  For 9 years, as fall approached, I watched my great bee hunter stand for hours as those blooms brought in swarms of bees to stalk and hunt.  He got so much joy standing over those plants and watching those bees.  And in the end, feeble and frail, he was not deterred from his bee hunting.   It was as if nature was giving him one last great hunt before he left.

As he grew more and more sick and his desire to eat waned, there were always two things he would eat without hesitation....cheese and frosted mini wheats.  So it became our routine in those last weeks to sit together while I ate breakfast and I would happily share my breakfast with him.  I was happy to have him eat anything and enjoyed the extra time with my special boy.

All of my babies at the beach one last time

And although I don't like to dwell on the past, I do believe it is important to reflect and remember from time to time to keep alive in our hearts those who have gone before us.  So today I will remember Jake and the 9 great years he gave us by getting out and enjoying the last of these days of Summer.  For Autumn and Winter will come...for all of us.