When I went to bed last night, I had no idea that in just about 12 hours I would be saying goodbye to my sweet Maddie. I knew the day was growing closer, I just had no idea how close. She didn't eat well on Friday and wasn't drinking well either, but I had hoped I'd be able to make her some special meals and convince her to eat. That was not to be. When we woke up this morning, she very clearly let me know that it was time. She was ready. So I called Nicol and the vet's office and made plans to take her out with Peaches for one last adventure.
Nicol met us at the vet's office and we spent some time sitting outside together with her as the staff prepared the room for us. Everyone was so kind and caring and many of them shed tears with us over this tremendous loss. It's nice to know how many people loved her and how many lives she touched. And it's nice to know that I have such caring veterinary professionals looking after the well-being of my girls.
As sad as I am to lose Maddie, I know that she is now at peace. No longer in pain, young and crazy again, and, most importantly, reunited with her best friend and favorite adventure companion, Imke. While I will always miss my sweet, anxious, crazy, loveable, adventure girl, I know that she lived an amazing life with me. I know that we made the most of every minute and of every adventure together. We left nothing undone and no moment wasted. I know that she loved me and she knew that I loved her, but since the moment Imke left us nearly 3 years ago, I think Maddie has felt her loss more deeply than anyone else. She really hasn't been quite the same since that day. And while she still had happy times and enjoyed adventures with me and Peaches, now she can rest peacefully, and so can I, knowing that they are together again, along with Jake. My original three amigos, or more correctly in German-drei freunde- all snuggled together under a cozy blanket by night and adventuring at endless beaches by day. Because that is what would make them all most happy.
I first met Maddie in May of 2010, when I was still a youngster at just 39 years old. She fit in here pretty quickly and was accepted by Jake and Imke right away. All of the early photos I have of her are basically pictures of them all snuggled up together. They loved each other and she and Imke grew to be the very best of friends during their 8 1/2 years together.
She spent the entirety of my 40s with me and celebrated my 50th birthday in quarantine with me last year. During those 11 years and 4 months, we conquered a whole bunch of fears together. Because, of all my dogs, I think that Maddie's personality really was most like mine. Irrational fears of some really silly things and lacking confidence, we joined a very confident and self-assured Imke on many an adventure, and we were forced outside of our comfort zone many times. But together we conquered those fears and grew in confidence and learned that together we could do a lot that we never thought we could do. I was her rock and she reminded me to push myself to try new things. We really grew a lot over the years and I am a better, stronger, more confident person because of her.
I remember the first time we took Maddie to the dog beach in Muskegon. She was afraid of the waves and didn't want the water to touch her. The Great Lakes were a scary thing for her. But in the end, she became a Great Lakes' girl and a lover of the beach. While she was never a swimmer, she learned to love the water in her own way and missed the lakes when we were away from them. She, like me, would never have made it in the Southwest. Our trip to the Grand Canyon proved that to me many times over when every time we passed a bridge on a hike she was searching under it for water to do a little wading and to grab a drink. The first stop we made in Michigan after that trip was at Warren Dunes State Park so Maddie could run on the beach and take a great big drink of Lake Michigan water.
I'll also never forget our trip to Salt Lake City and the Great Salt Lake. She was excited to be near a body of water, but so very confused when she stepped up to take a drink and it tasted, well, different. She would try to drink and then look up at me with the most confused look, but undeterred by the awful taste and horrendous smell, she would try again, only to look at me with confusion again. That was my Maddie. Silly and trusting and loveable!
She traveled to 49 States(and 48 State Capitols), 7 Canadian Provinces, and 1 Canadian Territory, and all 83 Michigan counties. While we had set a goal of getting to the final three Canadian Provinces together, our trip to Canada, which I had been planning for June of 2020, was not to be thanks to the pandemic. But that same pandemic allowed me to spend almost every minute of the last year of her life with her. Working from home and being able to be there for her was a blessing and I will forever be grateful for all of the extra time we got to spend together. And while we didn't see Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and Newfoundland and Labrador together, we were able to spend some real quality time together at home and that will always be time I cherish.
While we spent a lot of time over the years exploring the U.P and our favorite Michigan spots, we spent a lot of time in the last year exploring areas of Michigan that we hadn't visited before which allowed us to see a lot of new, fun places together. I was so excited that in April she was able to make the trip to Sleeping Bear Dunes with us and to spend some quality time along the Lake Michigan shore. The joy I saw her experience during her time at the Lake made the entire trip worthwhile. Maddie was a true Michigan adventure dog and with our travels around the state in the last 18 months, she was able to complete visiting every county in Michigan with me during her life. While her adventures in the end were shorter and slower, she still loved a good adventure in our beautiful State no matter where we went, but she was always happiest in the UP along the shores of Lake Superior. From her first big U.P. road trip in August 2012 to her last this past August, she made the most of every adventure we had together.
Until her last days, she would still get excited any time I put on shoes and when she was able, she'd waddle out to the garage and stand by the car waiting for a boost so she could take a ride. She always loved a good car ride because an adventure almost always followed. She spent many hours with her head out of the car window barking away in excitement while I drove along...thankfully that stopped when she was older, but it will always be part of my memories of traveling with her. She also didn't appreciate being left in the car to wait patiently for me when she was younger...she was always sure she was missing out on some fun. But in the end, the car ride was enough and she enjoyed each ride whether she got to get out and explore or just got to sit in the car and nap. She was just happy to be included.
Maddie was also with me when I took in my very first foster way back in December 2011. She loved having foster siblings and her sensitive soul missed most of them when they left. She enjoyed having new friends, she especially loved puppies, but was happy to have any foster here if they were willing to snuggle with her. While we haven't had a long-term foster in several months due to her deteriorating health, she was here to help over 45 lost souls find their way to new homes. I am grateful to her for being such a good little foster friend to them all. I couldn't have helped them all without her willingness to share her mom and her home.
Maddie's favorite holiday was Halloween and she would always get excited when I pulled out the costumes because she knew that meant fun. She always loved going to Old Town for the annual Howl-o-ween Trick-or-treating for dogs and she loved to watch for the kids coming to our door for treats on Halloween night. She was always such a good sport when it came to dressing up and this Halloween will just not be the same without her.
Maddie was the softest GSP I ever met. I'm sure she would never have won any AKC awards because she didn't meet breed standards in that way, but I loved to curl up next to her and pet her soft silky coat and warm silky ears. She was the most snuggly girl I've ever known and I will miss our snuggles so very much.
The Maddie that left me is a much different dog than the one I met 11 years ago, but one thing that never changed was her big heart and sweet demeanor. If Maddie loved you, she loved you completely. And she loved so many people. I was most lucky to be the recipient of so much love and care from her over the years. Maddie loved me as much as anyone could and I am so very thankful that she came into my life. To be a dog mom is special, but to be Maddie's mom was a privilege. How lucky I am to have been loved by her.
Rest peacefully my beautiful girl. There will never be another girl quite like you. I will love and miss you forever.
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