Sometimes you just need a break

It has been a long and exhausting week here.  Dealing with a sick parent and a broken healthcare system really has taken it's toll on me.  While I have tried to maintain some normalcy for the girls, it has been difficult.  But they have been great.  Weeks like these I appreciate even more than normal that I have them in my life.  They keep me sane and give me a reason to stay active, even when I don't really feel like it.

After seeing my dad last Sunday and seeing that he wasn't doing well, I made a point of checking in on him Monday morning.  While I was working, Nicol called him and alerted me to the fact that he seemed to have gone downhill since I had seen him the day before.  Not feeling confident that anyone at the Rehab facility would even notice, I made the decision to hop in the car and drive there. Luckily, his physical therapy team had alerted the healthcare staff that something wasn't right.  Why his nurses didn't notice is beyond me, but I was thankful that someone in that place cared enough to see he wasn't well and told someone.

I'll just say that my visit ended with me having some very strong words with the Nurse Practioner who was "caring" for him.  I don't normally yell at people, but I had plenty to say on Monday about the lack of care and compassion at this facility.  He seemed to be improving a bit by the time I left, so we made the decision to wait until Tuesday to see if he was continuing to improve or if we might need to send him back to the hospital. 

When I got home, the sun was shining and the temperatures were mild, and while I didn't feel like leaving the house, I knew that the girls and I could both use some fresh air and exercise, so we headed out for a nice trip to Soldan Dog Park.  Both girls ran and sniffed and played with friends.  Mina even did a little swimming after tennis balls in the water.  Afterward, we took a short walk around Hawk Island Park before heading home.  It was a good end to a very stressful day.

Tuesday was another beautiful day.  The girls spent the morning outside while I was busy at work.  My dad seemed to be doing better when my mom visited him that morning, so we thought we'd made it through the rough patch.  My mom had a meeting with the staff at the facility about some of our concerns, but I wasn't convinced anything was going to change.  After spending the morning working my normal job, and I spent the afternoon and evening working the Primary Elections.  In between I had several conversations with my mom and Nicol about dad's situation.   It was another really long day.

Wednesday, I had a full day of work followed by dog walking at the shelter.  The temperatures were frigid, so we took a shorter walk with the group and afterward, Vanessa and I were able to get out the two dogs who didn't join us during the first walk so that they could get some time outside too.  These two boys were my walking buddies for the evening, and I'm happy to report they were both adopted this week.  While I didn't visit my dad, I did talk to him and there was plenty going on with us dealing with ensuring he was getting the care he needed. Dog walking always makes me feel better, but I was still pretty exhausted at the end of the day.

On Thursday morning, my mom was supposed to take my dad to his weekly appointment with his surgeon.  On the way to get him, she received a call from my dad that he had a fever of 100.5 and that he couldn't leave the facility for his appointment.  This was the third day he'd had a fever this week and while Tylenol helped bring it down each time, clearly something else was going on and we needed to find out what.  When my mom called the surgeon's office to let them know he wouldn't be able to make the appointment, his surgeon was furious that the facility had not called her office to tell her that he was having issues, so her office called and told the facility to send him to the emergency room.  Honestly, if she hadn't done that, I'm pretty sure we would have made the same decision.

Now that he had left the facility, we just had to hope that he would be gone for 24 hours or be admitted to the hospital so that we could work to find a better place for him to complete his rehab.  I spent the day working from his emergency room and waiting for answers on what might be going on with him.  Finally, around 5pm, the decision was made to move him to an observation room on the second floor.  From here, all of the doctors who had been seeing him previously could monitor his case and make a decision on admitting him to the hospital.  We were told in general most patients spend 23 hours in observation.  He's still there today.

My mom left before he'd moved to his observation room, but I stayed with him.  He moved to his room around 6:30pm, and not long after, his surgeon stopped for a visit as did the infectious disease team who monitored him for any infections through his previous stay.  I got clarity on the plan for the night and felt relieved to have him back where I knew he'd receive really good care.  I finally left the hospital around 8pm to make the drive home and give updates to my mom, brother, and daughter.  I made it home shortly after 9pm, and Peaches and Mina were both very happy to see me.  I sat down for a minute, and immediately had Peaches in my lap.  I had left her for far too long, and she wasn't about to let me escape again.  It felt great to be so missed and so loved.  We played a few rounds of fetch in the dark before heading back inside to snuggle for the night.

I had to make sure that I got a Leap Day picture of the girls, too.  Nothing too exciting, but an important memory for me.  I also had a late night call with my good friend Emmalee who is a doctor doing her residency at Northwestern University hospital in Chicago.  Part of her job is dealing with subacute rehab for her patients, and she was able to give me a lot of information and guidance on how to move forward and deal with my dad's eventual move back to rehab.  I'm really lucky to have friends who have been supportive through this whole ordeal, and I've also found some really phenomenal people that work in healthcare that are selfless and willing to give guidance too.  It certainly has helped my confidence in being able to be a voice for my dad and it is always nice to know that there are others willing to stand up for him too.

Friday I knew that I'd be heading back to the hospital to spend the afternoon, but I also had some things I needed to take care of, including my own doctor's appointment first thing in the morning.  I got home from my appointment and spent the next couple of hours doing some work.  Then I had to get the girls our for at least a short walk before I headed back to the hospital.  It was a beautiful, sunny March 1 and it was great to have time to get out for a nice walk with the girls.  

The rest of the day was long and stressful because sometimes that's just how things are when you are trying to do everything you can to advocate for someone who really needs you.  But by the time I left the hospital, I felt like things were moving in the right direction. I had a really nice conversation with my dad after my mom had left for the day, and I even made him laugh.  While I wish he weren't going through everything that he's been dealing with, I am so grateful for all of the time I've gotten to spend with him over the last two months.  I promised him I'll do everything I can to make sure he gets the best care and that we can get him home.  I don't know how soon that will be, and I know he feels frustrated by this step backward, but I am hopeful that he'll get better, get stronger, and get home soon.

I had a peaceful Saturday morning and I was thankful for a day that I didn't have to juggle work, the dogs, and a trip to the hospital.  I talked to my dad in the morning and let him know I had some errands to run, but that I'd be there for a visit later in the day.  Then I got ready and headed out for the Winter Artisan Market held by our South Lansing Farmer's market.  I was able to see some of my favorite vendors and pick up a few goodies for me and the girls in my quick visit.  Then we headed down the road for a walk at Benjamin Davis Park.  The girls were in heaven and their noses were working overtime sniffing everywhere.  Next, I made a trip to get an oil change.  With all of the driving of the past two months, I was overdue.  Then I finished a couple of other quick errands, before heading home.  The girls had lunch, went outside for a bit as I did a few things around the house, and then they were back inside and I was leaving for the hospital.

I made a visit to a potential new rehab facility to check it out and talk with the admissions director.  Wow was it a night and day difference from the previous place.  I am hopeful when my dad leaves that hospital, he'll be able to go to this facility.  If not, we have some other options, and I will not feel rushed to make a decision.  I think both he and my mom are feeling a little less stress now that I've insisted on being part of the decision making process and his hospital case worker has been told to work with me directly.  I think I'm relieved too.  I had a quiet Saturday visit with my dad and was able to leave feeling unstressed and  unfrustrated.  It was really the first time all week I felt that way.  

Here is a picture of Fiona at her gymnastics class this week.  It was her first class and Nicol said it went well.  I really need to visit this little one soon, I haven't seen her in a month.   That's far too long!

Today, I am staying home.  I just need a break.  While I thought I might find something fun to do with the dogs or that I might do a bunch of cleaning, I've decided I need a day of rest.  What would be ideal is a cold, snowy day that would force me to stay inside and take full advantage of a rest day, but it's going to be a beautiful day outside and I certainly won't complain about it.  The girls are already making the most of the day.  

Now off I go to spend my day doing mostly nothing.  I'm thinking I'll throw something in the crockpot for dinner, do one small errand that I have to get done today, take the girls for a run at the dog park, and maybe make a stop for ice cream later since I feel like we all deserve a treat.  Then I'll watch some basketball later today and prepare for another week of whatever may come my way.    

Hug your loved ones and take care of yourselves.  Life is precious and way too short...go make the most of it.